well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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