I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
