All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
