Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
