i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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