I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
