umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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