you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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