Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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