Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
