Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
