I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
too bad you live with your parents still
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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