On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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