Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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