Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish you could order shots online.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
