Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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