the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Drunk is a universal language darling
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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