Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
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Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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