the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
