i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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