I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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