Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
