i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
