Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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