hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
