I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
