help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
