this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
