Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I bet he comes in French.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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