we made out on top of his cat.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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