So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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