I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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