Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
