i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
