She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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