If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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