separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
