After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
