I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
