went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
