He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
