lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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