I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
