If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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