Just mADE A PArabola og urine
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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