Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
