we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
