Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Randomize
