I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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