Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
