I wannas sexs uuuuu
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
please don't ironically join a cult
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