That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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