the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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