She is in my trunk
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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