Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
