distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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