so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
