Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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