Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
