Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That accounts for only three of the penises
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
