I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
