just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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